19 years old.. I thought I was the most amazing person. This was 2 years before I quit. I weighed about 100 pounds. I was a dick. I stole from my friends for drugs. I stole from my family for drugs. I lied. Cheated. Hurt very good people. I had no one left besides my step dad when I quit.. no one believed me anymore. It was.. a very hard time.
Ten years? Can you believe it? Look at me. I will be 32 in October.
I couldn’t have done it without my hero.
Rockdog saved my life. He turned 10 on July 4th.. I was only a few days sober when I got him. I looked into his little eyes and said I would live my life for him. There has been nothing better than the love and acceptance I received from him for the first few months when I was completely alone. We hitchhiked around the United States trying to find out what life was actually about.
Turns out, life is about love.
This is my daughter. She just turned 4. I love her beyond belief. I can’t believe I am able to keep her alive and healthy and teach her things. It amazes me everyday. She looks up to me and I give her the best of me.
Life is about Friendship
This is my best friend from third grade. I did terrible things to her that I would prefer to not talk about.. but when I was clean.. I came clean.. and she has forgiven me and I am the luckiest girl ever for that. I will spend my life loving her and always doing better then I did for her before.
Life is about Family.
Me and my Mother. I lost her.. when I was on drugs.. you can only lie and hurt someone so much before they break. I am forever grateful I could make it up to her and now we are best friends.
Life is about having fun.
This is my team. We have so much fun every single day. Don’t get me wrong, we have all the same problems normal people have.. but I am thankful for every moment. Today is the last time I will celebrate my anniversary. It’s been ten years and I am ready to leave the past, in the past. I am not an ex-addict. I am not in recovery. This fall I will walk up on stage and collect my BS in accountancy. I have accomplished so much from that person I was ten years ago. I am overwhelmed with emotion writing this post. I am a whole, strong, and amazing person and I am damn proud of myself. I write this post to celebrate me, but also to celebrate you. If you are out there and struggling.. please know that you can always move forward and change. If you are scared and worried.. please know that the future is brighter. If you are one day, 10 days, or just months clean and you are struggling please know that I believe in you. If you are still immersed in it I want to give you hope. I BELIEVE IN YOU. It is never too late to start something amazing. I promise you will never regret it.
TL;Dr – 10 years clean. Holy shit. You can too. Hugs.